Shock therapy


BlackBerry is closing down.. At least in suth malaysia. That’s what I heard from my site head. Shock? Yeah.. Who don’t? But so far I can hide my shockness pretty well. Actually, it’s not really a bad news for me.. Well, practically I won’t lose my job in suth, all team members will be moved to uber project, and all will be fine.
Well, I hope it will..
Actually, I don’t feel bad nor feel good about moving to uber. Change is hard, I know that, but the thing is, I don’t see any prospect in uber. Its just an app with service, not a legal public transport. And seeing what gojek experience right now, I don’t have any confidence about it.
I am not saying that uber will be bankrupt or what, but its more to personal feeling or my gut feeling, intuition? I don’t know, maybe we can call it that.
This situation made me realize, sooner or later, I will move from this company also.. I ever considering resignation before, but I am comfy with this team and the work. But now, I think I should plan what I am going to do if someday I want to resign from this company.
Actually, I’ve check several companies that offering a job post that I like. But again, I’m stuck because of location. It’s left me with two choices if I want to take those jobs, one whether I have to use a (shitty schedule) rapid bus transport or two, moving totally to those location. Both of choices is quite hard to choose.
If I am just a normal single lady, it would be easy,  that I can move as long as I like, but how then? I am a single cat lady, I have a cat under my responsibility, and nyunyeng is more like my kid instead of my cat.
To be honest, I am starting to feel uncomfy in my current house. Maybe because I am not a social person, and because of some problem going ahead in this house, so I don’t really feel that this house is my home.
I am dreaming, of getting out of this house, renting a small unit by myself, and living there peacefully with my cat, leaving all the problems behind me, starting a whole new life again, erasing all the footprints that sometimes still haunted me in my dreams.
Maybe I will take this step, if I really resigning from suth.
As a girl, sometimes I am dreaming I will leaving this house because I am marrying someone, but I can’t push people right? Moreover, now I am reconsidering getting married as a life options. Seems like it’s so hard to get married. A lot of things that you have to do and etcetra and etcetra.. I don’t really mind if I have to be single for the rest of my life though..
Plus, I already made a decision, that my current BF will be my last BF, if this relationship also didn’t work, I won’t try to search again. I am tired already.
I will tell my parents about this later when I am going home this month. At least, they are prepared and not to put so much hope on me.
Okay, back to topic before..
My clock now is tick tocking.. I don’t know when I should resign, but for sure, I have to be prepared for it.
Nothing last forever, including my problems. Of course I have to sort it out since it will not solve by itself.
I hope everything will be clear soon, and I hope all the best for me and everyone in my team..


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