Monthly Archives: May 2015

Human is social creature but not me

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Katanya manusia itu diciptakan sebagai makhluk sosial. Nggak bisa hidup tanpa interaksi dengan orang lain. Dan merasa depresi jika kesepian dan nggak ada temen.
Tapi, nggak tau kenapa, akhir2 ini gw merasa gw kehilangan semua fungsi itu.
Gw ngerasa hidup gw amat sangat garing. Basa basi dan obrolan ringan bikin gw capek. Gw males nanggepin orang dan males ngomong. Interaksi paling intens gw mungkin cuma ke kucing. Itu pun karena dia nggak ngomong, well, gw cuma ngelus2 dia aja dan itu udah cukup. Nggak makan energi banyak.
Di kantor gw lebih banyak diam dari biasanya. Di rumah, gw lebih nyaman mengunci diri di kamar daripada keluar dan mingle dengan orang rumah. Gw nggak akan keluar kamar kecuali memang hal itu penting kayak ke toilet atau minum.
Gw ngerasa juga gw mulai garing sm pacar gw sendiri. Omongan bakal keputus di tengah2 dan kami diam dengan awkward, baik ngomong langsung ataupun di chat. Dan sepertinya dia pun ngerasain hal yang sama. Waktu istirahat kerja pun, kami lebih banyak diam dan sibuk dengan gadget sendiri ketimbang ngobrol2 santai sesama kami.
Mungkin karena akhir2 ini gw ngerasa selalu ada yg salah tiap gw ngomong sesuatu. Beberapa konflik kecil muncul. Well, kayak biasanya, gw males perpanjang, gw biarin dan gw milih buat diam. Gw pikir, mungkin cuma karena gw yg terlalu sensitif. Dan itu nggak penting buat di perpanjang.
Obrolan yang ada di sekitar gw rasanya semua jadi nggak penting. Monoton dan gw mulai bosan.
Gw muak sama tawa, gw muak sama kata2 atau lebih tepatnya, gw mulai muak sama hidup gw.
Mungkin banyak yang pengen gw keluarin. Tapi menganut asas pikir sebelum ngomong selalu bikin gw ngerem mulut gw sendiri. Lagipula, bukankah diam itu emas?
Mungkin pergantian suasana rumah nanti bisa bantu gw biar nggak jadi begini.
Atau mungkin gw cuma perlu liburan sendirian. Menjauh sejenak dari keramaian. Mencari lagi sosok gw dulu yang hilang.
Mungkin, gw cuma lelah dengan keseharian.

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TTAM pt 1

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Maybe one thing that I miss the most when I married later is my single life.
Ah God, can I not marry? Its not that like I don’t want to be married, but looking at these past weeks, isn’t it great if marry is out of my dictionary?
Just think about it, you can do whatever you like, you don’t have someone that you have to protect his heart or take care of. You can spazzing all the way you like, you can stay in your room for days without being disturbed and noticed, you can eat whatever that you want without even worrying your weight, you can say f*ck off to whoever ask “When will you be married?”.
You don’t have to worry about the expense or how should the wedding be. You don’t have to worry about the ring and everything that involve. You don’t have to fight for the relationship, you won’t have to be hurt over a little things, you don’t have to worry about the kids, and their future, you won’t go to hell because you didn’t listen to your husband because you don’t have a husband, its as simply as that. Your responsibilities decreased, And you won’t hurt anyone. Isn’t all of that are great?
Lonely you say? Maybe.. But I’ve been lonely since I was born. I am too used to be alone and only rely on myself. People come and go, and in the end I learn that I can always depend on me. So far, no one can handle me. I’m still untamed. Maybe I’m too wild for my own good.
Whatever, just my babbling. I am starting to get sleepy anyway.
Let’s sleep. Good night.